Dickensian-ish Christmas Update

So, our  English dinner was a rousing success! Everyone really enjoyed the unique menu and unfamiliar traditions. There were 10 adults in attendance and everyone was pretty giddy by the end of the evening.

We started with appetizers of pigs in a blanket (despite my previous objections) which were quickly devoured by the men in the group, crackers and English cheeses and mulled cider.
The table was set with white table clothes, white china and red accents-ribbons on the napkins, red candles and a gleaming bowl of red ornaments. In addition at each place setting there were Christmas Crackers.

For dinner there was a standing beef rib roast, duchess potatoes, brussel sprouts with bacon, flakey rolls with butter and assorted jams. We all drank PG Tips-Englands most popular tea-with milk. (I've never put milk in my tea before but since this dinner I have become quite addicted to it). Everyone loved the dinner
After the dinner dishes were cleared we "popped" the Christmas Crackers. This was definitely the hit of the evening. Each cracker contained a paper crown-which we gamely donned-a riddle and a small toy (yoyo's, tiny notebooks, bouncey balls). Everyone read their riddle in turn and by the end we had all dissolved in laughter. Afterward we passed everyone at the table a slip of paper which had one line from the song "The 12 Days of Christmas" whatever line you received you then had to act out for the rest of the table to guess. Maids a Milking was particulary popular. And somehow-quite spontaneously-the group sang the entire song!

After this came the figgy pudding. Now I had spend a few hours assembling and baking this the day before and it was quite a bit of work. It came out as it was supposed to but I would be lying if I said the dark brown mound of cake was particularly appealing. We did hide a gold coin inside and the person whose piece contained the coin got a small prize. After a thorough dousing of brandy sauce it was lit and flamed, although I'm afraid, rather unimpressively. The figgy pudding was enjoyeed by a few members of our group but generally was deemed to dry, heavy and chewy. I had expected as much and wisely baked a backup dessert-an amazing (Mexican) chocolate cake which was raved over. Here's the link to that recipe. http://patismexicantable.com/2012/09/jujus-birthday-cake.html
We enjoyed dessert with brandy spiked egg nog.

Overall the meal was a huge success. It really made the holiday feel more special. We are already planning for next year: Southern Italian Christmas with the Feast of the Seven Fishes. And I for one simply can't wait!

Snickerdoodles

This is my all time favorite cookie and a recipe that I got from my grandmother. Cookies are simple, rich, crispy on the edges and soft in the middle. They freeze beautifully.

1 cup butter

1 1/2 cup sugar plus 4 tablespoons

2 eggs

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

In large mixing bowl cream together butter (helps if it is at room temperature), 1 1/2 cups sugar and eggs. This can be done with a mixer or by hand.  Be sure to scrape sides of bowl. Mix until well blended but do not beat, will be light and fluffy. In a separate bowl combine flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt. Add to creamed mixture and stir until well blended. Refrigerate for 30 minutes (or longer). Dough also freezes well.

Preheat over to 375F. Combine remaining 4 tablespoons sugar and cinnamon in a flat bowl or on a plate. Shape dough into 1-2" balls and roll in the cinnamon-sugar. Place at least 3 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 10-15 minutes (depending on size). Snickerdoodles will puff up at first and then flatten out during baking. Cool on a wire rack. One suggestion: because this is such a simple recipe, use quality ingredients: farm-fresh eggs, cinnamon-Penzey's has wonderful varieties http://www.penzeys.com/cgi-bin/penzeys/results.html and real butter, also a good quality all purpose flour (I like King Arthur). Makes 3-4 dozen cookies. About 140 calories each (and totally worth it!)

English Christmas Traditions

Here are some fun tidbits about where English--and American--Christmas traditions come from. They just might give you some ideas for your own traditions...

-The first Christmas card was sent in 1840. Today the Brits send over a billion every year.
-English children write letters to Father Christmas-Santa Claus-and burn them in the fireplace so the ashes will be carried by the wind and Father Christmas can read the smoke.
-Holly, mistletoe and evergreens are all traditions dating back to the Dark Ages. Pagans decorated their homes with evergreen boughs to remind them in the darkest months that spring was coming.
-In a mandate from 1540 every English person is supposed to attend church on Christmas Day and they are supposed to do so on foot. (about 13% uphold this tradition)
-In the afternoon on Christmas Day the Queen broadcasts a special message to her subjects. George V started this tradition in 1932.
-The 12 Days of Christmas actually begin after Christmas Day. The Song The 12 Days of Christmas dates back to 1780 and the lyrics have changed some over the years...("8 Badgers Baiting" anyone?)
-In England the day after Christmas is called Boxing Day. Traditionally the wealthy would "box up" the leftovers from their Christmas feast and give them to the less fortunate.

Many of the English traditions focus on charity, generosity, and family togetherness. Sounds pretty good to me.

A Dickensian-ish Christmas

So, for several years now the womenfolk in my family have batted around the idea of doing an "English Christmas Dinner." None of us really knew what that meant exactly but it sounds elegant and old world so this year we are pressing forward.
After quite a bit of Googling we've determined a typical English Christmas Dinner menu with some slight modifications for our American audience:

Pigs in a Blanket (this one is a head scratcher and something we will not be incorporating)
Standing Rib Roast or Roasted Goose (we going with the Rib Roast as Goose is just a little...eww)
Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Bacon
Cranberry Sauce
Bread Sauce (this we will NOT be making because it looks and sounds eww)
Roasted Potatoes (we are going with Duchess Potatoes instead-sounds English at least)
Yorkshire Pudding (Americanize this to Rolls with Herbed Butter)
Figgy Pudding (this we will attempt and are planning to flambe)
Chocolate Cake (not at all traditional English, but just in case nobody likes the pudding. We're calling it Tiny Tim's Favorite Chocolate Cake)

We are planning to incorporate some of their other traditions as well: party crackers at each place setting, hiding a gold coin in the figgy pudding and consuming lots of brandy.

More to come on recipes, pictures of the event and whether or not this was all a terrible idea and we should have just gotten Chinese food...

White Christmas Tree

This is my Christmas tree. I have always loved the clean, retro look of white trees. The color scheme is a little unorthodox: purple, turquoise and chartruese, but I feel like red, green and gold have been done to death, so why not use the colors you love? I've been collecting the ornaments for years, many were gifts and I always scope the after Christmas sales because there's always room for one more.

Lebanon Ohio Carriage Parade

Lebanon Ohio's Annual Horse Drawn Carriage Parade. The largest in the country and a favorite family tradition. We go every year and, for me at least, it never gets old...

Conspicuous Consumption

Let me start off by saying that I love the holiday season. I love everything about Thanksgiving through New Year. I love snow and peppermint and sugar cookies and reindeer and carols....well, you get the idea. What I do not love is the advertising assault that now begins immediately after Halloween and doesn't seem to let up until around mid-January.

I understand that we are in a difficult economic period and that retailers do the vast amount of their business during the holiday season, but it hurts my holly covered heart to see everything be turned into an advertising gimmick; to be constantly barraged by hackneyed, overly sentimental money grabs. Check cashing, fast food, car dealerships, they all manage to find some holiday oriented angle no matter how tangential. It doesn't have to be this way...

If you have to shop do it locally, from small independent retailers. Etsy.com is another great resouce to shop independently. Over the past few years I have been finding ways to extricate myself from consumer madness. One easy way: turn off the TV. Yep, it's just that simple. Simply hit the off button and all the noise suddenly stops.

My family is small and very close. Several years ago we all agreed to stop exchanging gifts. It was beginning to feel like we were simply handing each other cash. Instead of presents we treat each other to dining out or events--concert, ballet, day spa-or make a charitable contribution in their name-Heifer International, Salvation Army, NPR. People rarely remember the gifts they receive, but they will remember a night at the theatre or a fabulous meal. Get off the consumer merry go round and instead of spending your time with irritable strangers at the mall spend it with the people you care about most.

Anna Karenina

So, somebody decided to remake Tolstoy's classic about social class and marriage, Anna Karenina, into a movie staring Keira Knightley. Huh, go figure. Now it just so happens that I recently--recently like this week--finished re-reading this novel and I have to say that based on the trailers I'm seeing I'm more than a little concerned.

The novel is set during the tail end of the tsarist reign of Russia amongst minor nobility, so nearly everyone is a prince or princess. Opulence and lushness are par for the course and it appears that the movie has captured at least that aspect of the book. It looks absolutely delicious which is great, but I have to say that I have grown a bit weary of going to movies that look amazing but completely lack the substance of the source material.  I mean, how are high school students supposed to skip reading the book if you can't count on the movie to get you through the test?!

Keira Knightley is an odd choice for Anna given the fact that Tolstoy repeatedly describes Anna's "plumpness" and Keira Knightley is notoriously thin, but hey, this is Hollywood. Additionally in an interview Keira describes Anna as an "anti-hero" which seems to be a total misinterpretation of the character. Anna is not a seductress or a villan she is instead a victim of social circumstance and her own passionate nature. In the trailers it is hard to tell anything about Anna's husband-except they managed to make Jude Law homely-or the character of Levin but I suspect that their stories take a back seat to the love affair between Anna and Vronsky, which I'm sure will be presented as torrid and highly sensual.

I plan to see the movie-when and if it comes to my area- because I like to look at pretty stuff. I guess I'll  just have to remind myself that the phrase "the book is so much better than the movie" is a cliche for a reason.

Turkey Triumph!

So this year, for the first time ever, I made the Thanksgiving Day bird...all by myself. I'll admit to an extreme sense of panic when this duty fell to me, but, fortunately, my family is veerrrry laid back and knows better than to expect much.

I consulted multiple food gurus: Alton Brown, Ina Garten, my mother, and came up with an amalgamation of all their advice. We had our Thanksgiving earlier this week due to sheduling conflicts (another way to reduce stress and avoid grocery store crowds). According to my guests it was very successful.

Here are some of the things that I learned:
1. Get a smaller bird than you think you need. I got an 18 lb bird for 7 meat eaters and it was waaaay too much.
2.  Brining is unnecessary, trust me. I know it is all the rage, but it is a pain in the pin feathers and tends to make the meat very salty.
3. Don't stuff. Now I love stuffing, it's soggy deliciousness is a favorite, but stuffing takes longer to cook and then your turkey will dry out. Instead stuff the bird with citrus, herbs and onions. When the bird is done cooking, then remove those items and stuff with pre-cooked dressing. While the bird rests all the juices will moisten your stuffing.
4. Start out with the oven on 400-450 degrees for the first half hour. If the bird starts to over-brown cover it with aluminum foil. Then reduce heat to 325.
5. Don't baste. I know this too seems counterintuitive but every time you open the oven you are losing heat. The only thing basting does is crisp the skin anyway, that moisture does not penetrate through to the meat.
6. If you blow it and your bird is dry, burnt or undercooked...don't sweat it, everyone is there for the side dishes anyway. Turkey is just a perfunctory, meaningless tradition...like Easter Eggs or the Academy Awards.

Have a wonderful and relaxed holiday everyone!

Black and White Bathroom Inspiration

My house has 1 bathroom. It is 5x8 and consists of a small (16") vanity cabinet, toilet (from the 70's) and a cast iron bathtub (60"). Everything about it is fairly standard, it is functional, but it is also hideously ugly and in disrepair.
My hope is to remodel this spring when funds and weather cooperate.

This is the current floorplan.

I see no reason to change the layout except for the door. It is currently swinging into the room which takes up precious floor space. By rehinging the door to swing into the hall it will allow for a slightly larger vanity cabinet (24").

I would like to remodel but stay true to the era of the home with a design that is neutral and timeless. Here's some of my inspiration,

Love this classic small scale tile pattern.

Love the use of white subway tile with black listello (that's the skinny black tile that's embedded). Also like bringing tile up the wall, all the way around the room, to chair height. In this image it also appears that a grey grout has been used which means less maintenance.

Love this vintage look, but as much as I adore pedestal sinks I think a vanity is more practical as it allows for more storage which is always in demand in a bath.

This cabinet is classic and provides storage. Also I like the sink's backsplash detail. Very sweet.

My hope is to create something timeless and classic but still with a bit of personality. Also most of these items can be purchased at a big box store which saves $$$.
I can't wait til spring!

Kitchen Refresh!

Table and Chairs

Bar Cabinet

Fabric applied...

Chair Before

Chair after!

Bar cabinet original fabric on the Right...new fabric on the Left!

(I'll post photos of the entire grouping as soon as I have a second to spare!)

Fabric is here!

The Waverly fabric I ordered arrived today,  I like it even better in person, the colors are subtle, but still vibrant. The fabric is a large scale repeat. I ordered 2 yards of 54" decor fabric and will have enough for 4 dining chairs, a valance curtain and to line the doors of my pie safe.
Total score for $20!

Lessons Learned

It is approaching the end of October, gardening season has officially ended. My first season as a gardener has ended. I have learned some valuable lessons and I assume will continue to learn many more for as long as I garden.

I learned that root vegetables are really not worth the time and energy. I thought it'd be cool to grow my own potatoes and onions and carrots, meh, not so much. They take up a lot of space and unless you have a massive garden the yields are not really worth it.
I learned that it is better to grow things that I love to eat fresh and that grow in profusion: lettuce, cucumbers, zucchinis etc. These things are effortless to grow and you get lots of quantity in relatively little space.
I learned that tomatoes are heartbreakers. You watch them, feed them, nurture them, coddle them and they can turn on you at a moment's notice. This year my tomatoes-although delicious-were sparse and tiny. The drought kept me from harvesting any great quantity. It was uber frustrating.
I learned that I want a cutting garden for flowers. It looks great, smells great, encourages pollinators and who doesn't love fresh flowers?

That doesn't seem like a lot lot, but trust me, these truths were hard earned.

Fabric! Finally....

I have been shopping for kitchen chair fabric for, well, pretty much since the dawn of time. And my search has finally come to a close thanks to Waverly Button Blooms Confetti. It encompasses my entire kitchen color scheme, has a fun retro vibe without being too juvenille, and the pattern will hide dining mishps nicely. And, to sweeten the deal, it was on sale at Joann for 50% off so I only paid $9.99 a yard! As soon as it arrives I'll post pics of the improved chairs.




Waverly Button Blooms Confetti

Zinnias

Planted 1 seed packet of Zinnias and their abundance, variety, and length of blooming has blown my mind.

They've become a favorite flower.

My sole surviving sunflower

Not a drop to drink...

I'm not one to complain (that's a lie I totally am.) And I realize the entire nation is suffering from drought: wildfires, crops destroyed, thirsty cows. But there is something particularly galling when you are showering-hair glistening with conditioner-and the tap simply sputters, and runs dry.

This is what happened to me this morning as I was getting ready to start my day. No water, not a drop. My house is on an artesian well which my grandfather discovered and which produces the best water I have ever tasted-suck it Evian. I love my water and am always respectful of the fact that it is finite. I do not waste water, ever. So to have the well betray me so suddenly, without warning, seems like a personal affront.

As the well comes from the earth trucking water in is not an option. And there is no rain in the forecast for days. So now I will do what we country folk do: be resourceful! Some combination of bottled water, borrowing water and other work arounds will get me through this new, "adventure". Sand baths maybe? Drink nothing but champagne? Hmmm, maybe this isn't all that bad after all.

Tomato season

As is very apparent at this point, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing, in general and, more specifically, when it comes to gardening. However, I got 5 tomato plants a couple months ago and planted them. They were nothing special, just run of the mill big box store plants, less than a foot high each. Not long after buying these plants I heard a "tomato expert"-if such a thing exists-on NPR talking about the secrets of tomatoes: why store bought hydroponics are flavorless mush, etc. He pointed out that the more these plants struggle the better the fruit. Isn't that a lovely metaphor for human existence? Aren't the people who have been through the most adversity always the most interesting? Anyway, my tomato plants have struggled greatly, partly due to my ignorance, but also because the soil was too rich, acidic and bug infested and southern Ohio is in a drought, yet they persevered and today I harvested the first one.
It was the best tomato I have ever eaten.

Urge to Purge

Recently I have been seeing a lot of articles about getting rid of your excess stuff, clutter and multiples. I realize that I have a whole bunch of "stuff" that I do not look at, do not use, do not enjoy and certainly do not need. And by stuff I mean all the assorted ephemera which one accumulates over a lifetime: cosmetic bags, lids to storage containers that you cannot find, glassware specific to drinks that you will never make, books you won't read again. And  I realize the accumulation of all these miscellaneous things is in a way comforting, gives a sense of fullness and roundness to life. A sense of security and stability: "of course my life is stable and under control, look at all these things which I possess". But that sense of security is false. Having a bunch of useless objects tucked into corners and stowed away in closets does nothing to anchor your life to anything solid.
So it's time to purge. To give away, throw away, recycle and sell as much of this stuff as I can without ending up feeling barren or wanting. I know that the hardest for me will be books. I feel a sentimental attachment to books, even ones I disliked, because I invested the time and energy to read them. But that I silly, as silly as keeping the DVD of a movie you watched and hated (I am guilty of that as well)...
So the purge begins. I'll let you know how it goes....

Celery Project

This is a fun and easy little gardening project. Take the end of a bunch of celery. Submerge the bottom in water. Place in a sunny window and watch it grow.

After several days it will have roots. Plant in the garden. Not sure yet how big the stalks will be but it sure is fun to see and, so far, appears to be flourishing.

What I learned from Little House

As I was sorting through my books I came across the entire "Little House" collection by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I had loved these books as a girl, but hadn't thought about them in years, so I casually began to read one. Nearly immediately I was caught up in the amazing stories of one family of American pioneers. I found several things compelling, first the almost unbearable optimism of the Ingalls family, secondly their scrappy resourcefulness and third, how much knowledge they possessed-simply through experience-about survival in the natural world.

No matter what this family confronted: isolation, blizzards, plagues and all manner of nearly unthinkable hardship, they remained stalwart in their optimism, often echoing the refrain "All's well that ends well". Time and again "Pa" moved them-sometimes with no more than a few hours notice-to stranger and more remote places on the American frontier. They would build a house-complete with luxuries like window glass-and have to move suddenly and then reestablish themselves with only the contents of a covered wagon. Possessing little more than a few simple tools, basic fabric and primitive kitchen equipment they could build a house, make clothing, craft furniture and grow food to sustain a family of 6.

How is this possible, I am forced to ask myself...How could people live, and indeed, thrive with so little? How did they know when to plant and when to harvest? How to build a roof and floor? How could they have been so in tune with strange environments? None of this to say is that they did not suffer, they suffered tremendously, but they did not see it that way. Every meal was delicious, every sunset was an event in and of itself, and every gift the best ever given or received. And the next question, why can't I be more like that?

I was so taken by the simple, pastoral tableaus, and the insights into all things home and garden, that I read all 9 of the books in a few days.  What a remarkable time in our history and isn't it amazing how far we have come...

Giving up Props

I just read a really provocative article from the NYT via Apartment Therapy  http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/propping-how-much-is-too-much-172437  Basically the article is lampooning the over styled and under examined lives so many people appear to be living. The article is, I think, more than a little tongue in cheek but it provokes some interesting questions; poking fun at the abundance of redundant themes in interior design: taxidermy, terrariums, and chevron. Every design blog, website and shelter magazine seems to be liberally peppered with similar images of painted furniture, color coordinated bookshelves and "vintage finds". "Carefully curated" homes peopled with unique individuals that all happen to like the exact same stuff. The prepackaged hipster aesthetic that can be quickly consumed and will just as quickly be forgotten.

It is inevitable that when something (everything and anything) is photographed and cleverly staged and posted on design blogs that many people will say..."Oooh that's cute, I want that" and head to Crate and Barrel or Urban Outfitters to purchase it. That is exactly how marketing is supposed to work. There will always be fashion and design trends and most people will follow them simply because it is easy entre into a certain social strata. In a year or two everyone will throw their papier mache deer heads and cutesy owl figurines and replace them with sad clown portraits or whatever else is hip at the moment. The proof that there have always been trends in design? Look at my knotty pine kitchen and 60's psychedelic shelf paper...or all the "updated" homes with granite countertops and stainless appliances. For all those self righteous folk who would spew so much venom at the trend followers shut off your Internet connection and don't pick up a magazine and very quickly you'll have no idea what the hipsters are buying and you can be your own smugly original self.

Generation Gap

It's strange how some plants and flowers get labeled as "old fashioned" and fall out of popularity for a time, and that there are trends in the gardening world. But fashion, by its very nature is cyclical, and everything old and forgotten will eventually, given enough time, become the favorite new thing. There are, however, some flowers that seem to be trend proof. Old standbys that, due to some unique quality, seem to have always been and will always be. New gardeners make their own choices based on a lifetime of prejudices instilled by mothers, and neighbors and friends. Finding comfort in familiarity and excitement in the exotic.

When I was little girl I loved snapdragons (what kid doesn't) and moss roses. I begged my mother to plant big swaths of them in all their rainbow hues. As of today neither of us have them planted in our yards. Truthfully, I wouldn't even consider it. My mother's mother grew peonies and bearded irises. She had huge peony bushes, powdery pink and fuchsia, with their wonderful spicy sweet scent, always covered with bees and ants; and big clusters of purple iris lining her gravel driveway. I loved those flowers my grandmother grew. I thought the peonies magically ruffly and the iris were always so elegant; my mother hated them, at least hated them as much as anyone can hate a flower. In my case, ever since the first time I saw them, I have always hated geraniums and marigolds; thinking them  unattractive and  finding their scent repulsive. But now I know that there are reasons behind every planting decision, even geraniums and marigolds.

Now that I am  actually gardening, I get to make my own choices for what to plant. Initially I thought I would have an abundance of unfamiliar, special order flowers, but then realized that I don't have the water or the soil for such plants. So my garden seems to have sorted itself out into an amalgamation of the gardens of the women in my family before me: my paternal grandmother's hostas, my maternal grandmother's peonies, and my mom's hen and chicks, myrtle and coral bells. (Also the hopeless in southern Ohio, but oh-so alluring, tuberous begonia; my mother has never been able to resist them, and neither can I.)  But the other plants and flowers that I have read like a litany of traditional farm flowers, all with their unique qualities or purpose: geraniums and marigolds to repel insects, sunflowers for the birds, zinnias for cutting, lavender for the fragrance. All of these are classic farm flora, people have been growing these flowers in the Midwest for a hundred years, and I assume that they will continue to. They have all withstood the test of time and outlasted trends and fads because they each have something unique to contribute and somehow, they just make sense.

More than I can chew

“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”-TS Eliot

Throughout my day, during my commute or while I sit in front of a computer monitor at work, I fantasize about all the things I would like to do to my house and yard and garden. I think about installing a patio and awning, about planting a small grove of fruit trees, about remodeling the bathroom. These imaginings sustain and inspire me.

I spend countless hours on http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ working myself into a home improvement frenzy. Every evening I come up with a to-do list for the next day to be completed before I leave for my second shift job. And in the morning I bound out of bed with the best of intentions. Thinking "this morning I will 1.restain the deck, 2. weed all the flower beds, 3. clean out the garage..." and the list goes on, trying to cram 12 hours of work into 3 hours of free time.

My intentions are always the best, but I have to realize, to accept, that these lists will never end. There will always be more to do, more to improve, more to want. I have to discipline myself to take comfort in the small victories: today I repainted an end table or today I thinned the lettuce or even, today I enjoyed myself. And to realize that, some days, good enough is just that.

My Mad Men Kitchen

So, I finally started watching Mad Men a few weeks ago--thanks to my sister in law's Netflix account--and have been as caught up in the shows aesthetics as I am in the story lines. I will admit my absolute shock the first time I saw the Draper family's kitchen, it is uncannily similar to the kitchen at The Hive. The knotty pine floor to ceiling cabinets and weird useless little carved shelves and niches. I hate them, both, my real kitchen and the Hollywood version. I think it looks dark and dingy and dated.

I have envisioned gutting The Hive's kitchen and replacing it with clean white cabinetry and light grey flooring and pale Corian countertops...a clean, bright, airy space. However, I am trying to think of this dilemma from both an aesthetic and environmental perspective. First of all, ripping out the existing kitchen would mean having to purchase all new materials, this means increasing consumption and dumping all the old items into a landfill. This is wasteful considering that everything that is currently in the kitchen is still perfectly serviceable, it all functions just fine it is just not to my current taste. Secondly, white cabinets and light countertops are simply the current fashion. Won't they look just as dated in 20 or 30 years? Aren't tastes dictated by trends and didn't my grandparents when installing the knotty pine kitchen originally do so because it was stylish? I am going to resist the urge to "granitize" my kitchen--a fabulously accurate term I picked up from my new favorite website www.retrorenovation.com

So, I'm going to try to live with it, for now. Try to learn to love it. And, who knows, by the time I like it it'll probably be back in style.

Grub Wars

I have grubs. Well, not me personally, but my yard does. Grubs are the larvae of Japanese Beetles. The grubs eat everything in sight and are especially fond of gardens. I am not going to post a picture of these creatures as they are the ugliest, slimiest, creepiest crawling things I have every seen. Although, the beetles they mature into are actually quite lovely.

All that aside, this is the way my mind works: As I was tilling the ground for my vegetable garden I spotted quite a few grubs, not knowing what they were I, naturally, called my mother. She explained what they were so I started Googling non-chemical ways to get rid of them (gotta keep it green and organic!) I came across several solutions for my problem including milky spore and other natural remedies. But far more interesting to me was the fact that grubs are a favorite food of chickens. I have been lusting after chickens for quite a while now, so I started researching coops, breeds, diet etc. However, I do live in a fairly rural area, which means that defense from predators is also a concern. So then I Googled ways to keep your chickens safe; special fencing, lighting and locks. But more interestingly there are certain breeds of dogs--called LGD (livestock guardian dogs)--who are specially bred to coexist with and defend, until the death, farm animals. The Great Pyrenees is specifically bred to guard poultry. They are massive, elegant white dogs with a quiet temperament and noble bearing. Some more Googling and I come to find that the nearest breeder to me is in West Virginia, about 180 miles away. Not too far at all.
So by the end of  2 hours of research I was ready to get into my car, drive to West Virginia and buy a dog to defend the chickens I do not have who will eat the grubs out of the garden that I have not yet planted. I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.

Growing Pains

So, now that I have been a gardener for approximately two months I feel I am ready to share some of my experiences and expertise.
First of all, do not have "garden envy". Sure your neighbors have a canopy of Wisteria and abundant aphid free Roses but you have something better, namely, a life. Those people with the perfect yards and abundant profusions of flowers, they are retired or at the very least, extremely unpopular.
Secondly, just because they sell something at the garden center or big box store doesn't mean it will grow in your yard. Those tempting arrays of plants are there to encourage conspicuous consumption, not to convey the practical realities of what will and will not grow in your yard. Hence the massive displays of annuals; annuals die off each year sending you running back to buy more each year.
Thirdly, do not buy plants based solely on love at first sight. Sure you think that Rhododendron is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen but there is no way it's going to grow in your heavy, rocky, grub infested soil. Let it go, move on, and when in doubt, buy Hostas.
And, finally, have realistic expectations. You are an attractive and intelligent person with a full life. There is no reason to drink an entire bottle of red wine or sullenly mope through your day just because all of your Begonia bulbs rotted. Some day--in 30-40 years--you too will retire and have a fabulous looking yard. Until then, keep your chin up and how about some lovely Impatiens?

"Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace." -Mary Sarton

I have started a vegetable garden. Well, vegetable garden is a bit of an overstatement: I have started digging up a chunk of my yard with the intention of planting a vegetable garden. It is slow going to say the least, but an excellent workout since it is all being done by hand. A few months ago I went on a seed buying spree--as soon as they appeared in stores--and I have been eagerly anticipating getting them in the ground. Mostly lettuces and hardy vegetables-including onion and red potato sets-that can withstand a bit of cold.

Here in southern Ohio, as with much of the country, we had an unusually mild winter and early spring. However, if you talk to old timers,  they will warn: "Dont plant til Mother's Day...cause you just never know." It would appear that they are right and that global warming is a finicky mistress. First is was a mild winter, and then an exceptionally warm February/March, now it's cold and rainy in April. Hopefully May will bring with is more sunshine and more heat....just in time for Mother's Day.

Georgia O'Keeffe quote that made my day

"I hate flowers. I paint them because they are cheaper than models and they don't move."

I Never Promised You an Herb Garden

About 12 weks ago I decided to start growing herbs from seeds. I'm a Basil fanatic and, according to the Barefoot Contessa all herbs used for cooking should be fresh, except for Oregano.  So I purchased 10 organic herb seed packets (French Thyme, Common Sage, Cilantro,  Italian Flat Leaf Parsley, Basil and a few miscellaneous herbs that just looked interesting). I also got organic "seed starting" soil and pots that can be put directly in the ground and will decompose naturally.
I busily planted my seeds, watered and set in a sunny window. Within a few days tiny sprouts appeared! It was magical....until I realized that I had absolutely no idea which plant was in which pot. As I have come to learn, all seedlings look basically the same in that they are green and have leaves. Since they were all different types of plants they do have different light and water requirements, but since I had no idea what those requirements might be I simply kept them in a well lit area and watered when they looked dry. About half have survived and are thriving. And now that they are maturing, the leaves are more defined and I can guess, with some certainty, what each plant will be when it grows up. It's actually kind of fun not knowing...but that doesn't mean I won't label them next year.

The Two Towers

I majored in English in college which means two things 1. I have about a thousand books 2. I cannot afford decent bookshelves. My books have been in a dozen plastic storage bins for over two years. Finally I decided, enough is enough. I pulled those bins out and started looking at the piles and decided to find a way to display them, or use them, or something. I mean I wouldn't want anyone to NOT  know that I spent $40k on a virtually useless degree. Hence, the two towers: two 6 foot tall precarious pillars of English literature. I know what book nerds will say, "but then you dont have access to your books because they are all stacked on top of each other!" Well, I'll tell you what if you have any desire to read Edgar Lee Masters Spoon River Anthology or Gunter Grass's The Tin Drum  you just let me know. I'll give you a dollar and you can go to your local used book store and buy yourself a copy from  some other English major who needs the cash more badly than me.

Amazing Azalea

I planted this gorgeous little shrub-which I got for $5 at the Home Depot-about two weeks ago. I then proceeded to have some friends over for drinks and failed to notice that the temperature dropped into the high 20's that night. The next morning the poor little plant dropped all its flowers...I was sad and guilt stricken. But after several days of attention, and apologies, it has started to flower again!

Tree Sale

"A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit" -D Elton Trueblood


There is a place called the "county extension service" where they know everything about the county in which you reside. Where I live it is supported by The Ohio State University. http://www.warren.osu.edu/. Anyway, they "combine the needs of the community" with the latest research in, uh, everything apparently.


I went there to get info about native plants and tips for southern Ohio gardeners. Since I'm trying to keep things green I'm looking for plants that require no pesticides and little water. I was assisted by a ruggedly handsome-and only slightly condescending-farmer type who gave me all sorts of info about organic gardening and how to encourage pollinators. And, it just so happened, they were about to have their annual Tree Sale (which is exactly what it sounds like)..did somebody say shopping?! I got a fabulous brochure full of full color images of majestic oak and maple trees and abundant wildflowers.


After some consideration I selected redbuds and dogwoods, both hardy, ornamental, low maintenance trees.and for just a few dollars you can order 2-3 year old saplings."Sweet!", I thought, "cheap trees to enhance my landscaping." Fast forward 2 weeks,  I go to pick them up- my 16 trees-and am handed a paper bag full of twigs. Apparently a 3 year old tree is not a very large tree. But Doug, Victor and I dilligently planted and mulched them (organic hardwood mulch in case you are wonderirng).  The Redbuds are in a shaded tree line, which they love. And the Dogwoods scattered throughout the yard, strategically near windows. We thoughtfully placed them and check every day,  hoping against hope. that one morning, like Jack's Beanstalk, they'll be 20 feet tall.


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Garden Center Expose!

"And the heart that is soonest awake to the flowers is always the first to be touched by the thorns"-Thomas Moore

I went to my local nursery/garden center the other day to "just look around" which is a lot of nonsense because I never "just look around" anywhere. I am a buyer, not a shopper. I can find something to buy anywhere (car parts store, tractor supply, the dentist). Anyway, so as soon as I get out of my car the assault begins. I am immediately descended upon, by unseasonably tanned young men with perfect teeth, all too eager to help me make an informed buying decision. I can hear my debit card groaning already.
I am a reluctant-if malleable-victim as they lead me through the aisles talking down to me and blatantly trying to sell me parched looking overstock. But then, I spot it, a dazzling orange shrub: sculptural, vibrant, magnificent. I make a beeline for the plant, a pack of nursery boys trailing me (do these guys work on commission or what?). It is a Texas Red Scarlet Flowering Quince. They assure me that it is hardy and an excellent choice for the full sun location I have in mind. That's it-I am sold.

Woe to me. Woe to my guard being down. First off the thing is covered with 1" long thorns so the planting was something of a bloodbath. Then, no sooner do I get it in the ground, that it begins to lose its flowers, so, naturally, I Google it. What the tan nursery boys failed to mention is that it only flowers for 7-10 days each spring. Lesson Learned: Buyer Beware. This is what happens when the uninformed collide with the overeager and resources exceed knowledge.

I am not a hobbit, this is not the Shire

So anyone who knows me, knows that I am a...fan, let's say, of JRR Tolkien. I've read the Lord of the Rings a couple of times (seven) and first read The Hobbit when I was 8. And since I was 8 I've been preoccupied with Tolkien's descriptions of the Shire (the land where the hobbits live, for those who are uninitiated). Anyway, the Shire is a lush, idyllic, pastoral agrarian utopia, wherein food and blue skies are plentiful and the work load is light. At the center of the hobbit-verse is Bag End-the ancestral home of the Bagginses. Bag End, a truly unfortunate name for such a place, is described as a one level dwelling built into the side of a hill with windows across the front, multiple rooms and hallways, low ceilings and sloping walls. The front door is bright green and round with a brass knocker in the center. The gardens are a lush profusion of color and variety. Well since I was little I've thought that sounded like the perfect dwelling. Unfortunately I am not a hobbit, I am a tall, modern American, with tall modern American friends, and tall modern American needs. So, a compromise: I will have a riotous garden and a bright green front door, although sadly, it is not round

Compost is Making Me Fat

So in my endless pursuit of greeney hipness-and frugality-I decided to start composting. Full disclosure, my mom has gardened and composted my whole life, but as with so many things, I paid no attention and needed Google to get myself informed. www.Howtocompost.org is very helpful, as is www.composting101.com. Basically, compost is a way to reduce the amount of trash you throw away, and create what garden nerds call "black gold"-super rich soil that plants love. For now I'm using a 20 gallon storage bin with a lid for the refuse. If you go this route be sure to poke lots of holes on the top, bottom and sides of your bin to allow air flow. Otherwise you'll end up with a stinky-but contained-trash pile. If you want to work on a larger scale there are all sorts of bin designs online.
Compost consists of decomposed food garbage and yard waste. Now, this does not mean that you should toss in a half eaten Big Mac. This means uncooked food (egg shells, fruit and vegetable peels, coffee ground, tea bags, etc). Yard waste means leaves, grass clippings, and other dead stuff, bear in mind if you toss in weeds that have gone to seed they may start growing in your bin, which would kind of defeat the whole purpose of pulling them in the first place. Also, pet/human hair is great for compost, and as I have 2 long hair cats-and am a long hair myself-we've got plenty of that around The Hive.
Now, I am not a patient person, and I have a tendency to be a bit overzealous when undertaking projects. This has translated into me buying-and consuming as quickly as possible-mostly compostable food. This also means I am endlessly chasing my cats around the house with a brush, not letting any of their precious fur go to waste. I am racing against the clock as spring is upon us and I need dirt!

Some reminders: *Your compost should be stirred, or turned, regularly to incorporate all the ingredients. *No one that comes over has any interest in seeing your compost pile. *Leaves, hay, and paper, so called "brown" ingredients should be mixed in with "green" grass clippings to keep pile from getting too damp. *Keep you compost vegan-no meat fish or dairy-or it'll attract critters with the smell

Interior design magazines are like fashion magazines; reinforcing stuff you will never have, places you will never go, people you will never meet and things you will never do.

Neat Freak

"Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work" -Gustave Flaubert

I am a neat freak. Even as a child my room was always clean. Stuffed animals carefully arrayed by color and category, bed always made without being told. It has become something of a compulsion for me. I shudder when things are out of place and attack any speck of visible dirt without mercy. Things in my house are constantly being "spruced".
My mother is a deep cleaner, believing that every surface should be clean enough to eat off of; I am a tidier, believing every surface should look good enough to eat. When I was young I imagined "what if" scenarios in which a beloved band's tour bus (typically, New Kids on the Block) would break down in front of my house, and woe to me if my room was not tidy for their arrival. As I have gotten older my interests have evolved. I now want to be prepared should the president drop by. (Which, living in southern Ohio during an election year is not outside the realm of possibility.) I mean, I wouldn't want the leader of the free world to think the citizenry unkempt. Just in case, my socks are neatly folded, closets arranged by color, and dishes always washed. I do not know why the president would look in my sock drawer, but how could I possibly discern the concerns of a person of such great importance.
This has been both a bane to partygoers at my house, as I follow them around, emptying ash trays and applying coasters on the sly. And a boon to my romantic life as it makes me appear-at least superficially-extremely domestic. I once had a boyfriend who was even neater than me. He was perpetually purging his wardrobe and apartment of any extraneous stuff that even hinted at clutter (what an aphrodisiac!) But this relentless pursuit does become a burden at times, as the realities of wear and tear-the things that make a life full-are inevitably going to bring with them some disarray. Sigh, well nothing and nobody is perfect. But I'm working on it.

Hardwood floors, the Hard Way

After pulling out the carpeting and revealing the aforementioned "muddy" floors I knew something had to be done. After brief consultation with my design team (Doug) and discussing our options-recarpeting, refinishing, house fire-we decided on refinishing. Historically I had once stripped, sanded and stained two end tables and a small desk, so I pretty much considered myself an expert. Refinishing 3 rooms of 60 year old, uncared for hardwood? No problem! After watching 2 youtube videos we were off to the races...or the tool rental, more accurately.
When we picked up the sander I was expecting an orbital sander, something like a floor buffer, which would glide quickly and smoothly acorss the floor with a pleasant hum. Uh, no, this was a 150lb drum sander. Which moves at 90 degree angles with the sandpaper rolling, like a conveyor belt. After a half hour of figuring out how to attach the sandpaper we turned the beast on; it roared to life, lawn mower loud and vibrating like a chainsaw. (wear ear protection and a breathing mask!!) The beastly thing nearly pulled us both through windows at various times, if left to sit in one place more than a minute or two I have no doubt it would have sanded right through the floor. Additionally, this is a small house so turning corners at the end of a row was also a challenge. However, we had three rooms sanded in less than 3 hours. Important to note, these big sanders will not reach the perimeter of the room, which means you will have a 3" border to contend with, using a handheld sander is inevitable.
After pausing to admire our work, and blow the sawdust out of our noses, the change was remarkable. We had sanded down to beautiful, blonde, cherry wood. It was like a pale, swedish modern, paradise. But, alas, there was no way I was living with blond floors so off to Lowe's we went...
Selecting floor stain is, thankfully, not quite as daunting as selecting paint colors. There are far fewer choices. I wanted a universal  midtone color with a red hue, a low voc stain by Minwax, something called "colonial maple" fit the bill. Something to be aware of, the color on the chip will bear little to no resemblance to your ultimate floor color, lesson learned.  I also chose a high gloss poly because I wanted the "wet" look. I love shiny stuff!
Applying the stain is simple, but messy. It's definitely a two person job. One with a rag to apply the watery, soupy stain and someone to go behind and wipe up the mess. There are sponge applicators that make the second step much simpler. Also you'll need a stain brush for the edges, which looks like a large pastry brush. This is a horribly messy project, your clothes will be ruined and your hands tinted.
After a 24 hour drying period (may take longer depending on weather, ventilation) polyurethane was next. This should be applied with brushes. It is a thin liquid, (be sure with both this and the stain you shake the can well), messy and becomes tacky. It dries into a rock hard candy like gloss after 24-48 hours. Again this stuff gives off noxious fumes so wear a mask. Gloves sound like a good idea, but as the poly dries it becomes incredibly sticky and you'll end up having to toss the gloves...of course without gloves your fingers will stick together.

Due to time constraints we only did one coat, which I now regret as the floor is showing some wear, especially under the feet of furniture. (I may try to do another coat of poly this spring...but we'll see).

Tools 101

"Any tool can be a weapon if you hold it right" -Ani Difranco

Tools. It is said that it is important to use the right tool for the job, however, in my experience, this leads to an inordinate number of trips to Lowe's to return the thing you thought you needed but can only get store credit for because you accidentally threw the receipt away. Some tools are indispensable though, heres my top 10...
1. Duct tape I didnt deal with any ducts, but found many other uses:
straightening lampshades, patching holes, stifling dissent
2. Hammer: nail hammering, demolition, thumb smashing
3. Phillips head screw driver
4. Flathead screwdriver (see also butter knife)
5. Cordless drill
6. Electric sander (gives the illusion of actual sanding)
7. Cash: to pay pizza guy
8. Paint scraper: to scrape paint and unstick windows inadvertently
painted closed
9. Saw: to saw stuff, duh
10. Tape measure (and someone to hold the other end)

Wood Paneling and Wretchedness

A few words about wood paneling. First of all, due to its ubiquitousness in home decor from the late 50s into the 70s, one has to assume that it was either a.) very stylish or b.) very cheap. And, secondly, it must have been brilliantly marketed to convince millions of otherwise sane people to clad their walls in plastic: grooved, textured and printed to bear some vague resemblance to actual wood. Because nothing says natural and organic like printed sheets of plastic! But, I digress, given that 3 of The Hives rooms were walled with the stuff (both bedrooms and the living room/hallway)  I decided priming and painting were the path of least resistance.
I learned, after some research, that an oil based primed (Kilz and Bullseye both make them) was recommended to cover the wretched panels as quickly and thoroughly as possible. What they did not tell me is that oil based primer is sinister stuff. It smells evil, is syrupy thick, unforgiving and adheres to everything it touches, especially hands and clothes. It is definitely not eco friendly, but will definitely get you high in an unventilated room. However, the oil based primer required only two coats, water based might require 4 or more, so if time is of the essence (or if your help's vacation is almost over) oil based is definitely the way to go.
After priming, painting with a low voc water based paint was a snap; hopefully the two somehow cancel each other out. The living room/hall are painted in "rope", the guest room/office is in "apple" and the bedroom is in "pecan praline" (all Valspar brand available at Lowe's.) Each of these colors took months to select...thank goodness paint chips are free. I am thrilled with the grey in the living room, it is easy and accessible (I know grey is the beige of the moment but I wanted to keep the main living area as neutral as possible so I had more flexibility with accessories and seasonal decor), but feel both bedrooms may be a bit too specific for most people.  I find the guest room as cool as a bowl of cucumbers and the "master" (if a 12x12 space can be called that) has an exotic spicyness that I love. Keep in mind, if you paint a room and are shocked or overwhelmed by the color try living with it awhile, once your furnishings, fabrics and art are layered in the color will have dissipated.

To begin with...

My grandfather was a Virginia coal miner, but in his 20s moved to southern Ohio, met my grandmother, got married and had 2 children, the first being my father. They moved into The B's Hive in the late 1950's. "Intimate" and "rustic" would be nice euphemisms for the way they lived: 4 people, 4 rooms, 900 sq feet, no central heat, well water and nary a neighbor in sight. Little has changed in the intervening 50 years, except now there are neighbors on either side of the property-quiet, respectful neighbors-but they are there nonetheless.

I suppose at the time the decor was of the moment, stylish even, though I cannot conceive how faux wood paneling, knotty pine cabinets and green shag could have ever been considered aesthetically appealing.
My self-ordained task when taking on "The Hive" as my own was to try to maintain the charm of a tiny rural cottage, not to attempt transform it into a faux Italianate monstrosity or to pretend that is more than it is...but the, ahem, "decor" had to be undone. I wanted to do this on a less than shoestring budget and keeping things as "green" as possible. (What's the point of living in the country if you're gonna poison the air and soil with a bunch of chemicals?)
I enlisted my crew, consisting of my two younger brothers and their amiable friend, and kept them pacified with a steady diet of domestic beer and White Castle. We began with no particular end in mind, just an ill-defined notion of progress and improvement. Needless to say, when undertaking your own home improvement projects you may want to consider things like "deadlines" and "budgeting."

So out went the carpet which, mercifully, wasn't tacked down. The hardwood floor beneath was a muddy looking walnut color, but betrayed only minor damage. Then primer and paint on every bit of fake wood paneling in sight. My desire for a blank canvas was becoming something of a compulsion. This all got underway in mid fall so, as much as weather permitted, the "crew" and I worked in the yard as well. To be clear my landscaping skills consist of the ability to arrange grocery store flowers in pleasing configurations, so needless to say, there was something of a learning curve...But, with the assistance of brother Doug-who had worked as a landscaper in a past life-we managed to power wash all of the buildings (power washing is way fun but we ran the well out of water at least 5 times), stain the deck and cedar walkway, and build a raised flower bed with a red brick retaining wall. Not too bad for amateurs.

A country house for a city mouse

When my parents asked me if I was interested in living in my grandparents home and making it my own my immediate response was "Sure, why not?"...followed quickly by, "Dear God, what was I thinking!" The house is less than a thousand square feet and sits on a 3 acre lot, mostly lawn, backed up to a wooded ravine. The house, and property, hadn't been touched or improved in any way since my grandfather passed away in the mid-90's.
Green shag carpeting, wood paneling in every room and a yard full of scubby shrubs and more weeds than grass...certainly not a pastoral paradise. But as a long time devotee of HGTV and House Beautiful I decided it would be a challenge and learning experience. And it has been. Dubbing the house "B's Hive" in honor of my grandparents--Bob and Betty--I have been whittling away at its faults and trying to transform it into a cozy, country cottage. There's still a loooong way to go.

It bears metioning that I am a city girl, through and through. I have never lived anywhere remotely rural, never cared for a yard and have never grown a plant in my life. Its proven to be an adventure already and I'd like to think I am just getting started.