Happy 38th!

"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day."
-Andre Maurois

 My parents have been married for 38 years as of today. They were married February 15th-the day after Valentine's Day-1975.
It was perhaps the most understated wedding in history my mother wore a thrift store dress and carried a single rose. A friend baked the cake. Another performed the ceremony. There was nary a monogram or champagne flute in sight.

They were young, well at least by today's standards, and more than a little naive. They lived an unorthodox lifestyle that-while viable in the 1960's-would become unsustainable as the pragmatic, capitalistic 1980's encroached. Neither of them had gone to college or had any particular skill set. And for many years they would drift from city to city, unfulfilling job to unfulfilling job. Although they would never have much money, or lead a particularly comfortable life, they have managed for nearly four decades to stay committed to each other.

There was never any doubt that they would be parents. They just both knew that they should be, would be, parents. I think they would have kept having kids indefinitely had it not been for my mother's health. Each pregnancy took a serious physical toll on her. They would have liked to have had lots of kids, but in my estimation my two brothers and I seem like plenty.

Our parents created for us a rich environment, not through any particular design, but just by surrounding us with books and music and conversation. Never talking down to us, treating us as if our opinions mattered. I can't remember my parents ever seeming disinterested or bored by any thing that we said or did. They seem to think their children to be endlessly fascinating and nearly preternaturally capable people. (They are of course wrong about that.)

My parents have weathered countless disappointments, losses, struggles and trials and yet their patience, generosity, and faith seem to know no ends. They have treated their marriage vows as something sacred, not because it has been easy, but in spite of it being hard. Each and every day they get up and choose to stay together. As of today they have made that choice 13,870 times and that, I think, is something to celebrate.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!