More than I can chew

“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”-TS Eliot

Throughout my day, during my commute or while I sit in front of a computer monitor at work, I fantasize about all the things I would like to do to my house and yard and garden. I think about installing a patio and awning, about planting a small grove of fruit trees, about remodeling the bathroom. These imaginings sustain and inspire me.

I spend countless hours on http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ working myself into a home improvement frenzy. Every evening I come up with a to-do list for the next day to be completed before I leave for my second shift job. And in the morning I bound out of bed with the best of intentions. Thinking "this morning I will 1.restain the deck, 2. weed all the flower beds, 3. clean out the garage..." and the list goes on, trying to cram 12 hours of work into 3 hours of free time.

My intentions are always the best, but I have to realize, to accept, that these lists will never end. There will always be more to do, more to improve, more to want. I have to discipline myself to take comfort in the small victories: today I repainted an end table or today I thinned the lettuce or even, today I enjoyed myself. And to realize that, some days, good enough is just that.

My Mad Men Kitchen

So, I finally started watching Mad Men a few weeks ago--thanks to my sister in law's Netflix account--and have been as caught up in the shows aesthetics as I am in the story lines. I will admit my absolute shock the first time I saw the Draper family's kitchen, it is uncannily similar to the kitchen at The Hive. The knotty pine floor to ceiling cabinets and weird useless little carved shelves and niches. I hate them, both, my real kitchen and the Hollywood version. I think it looks dark and dingy and dated.

I have envisioned gutting The Hive's kitchen and replacing it with clean white cabinetry and light grey flooring and pale Corian countertops...a clean, bright, airy space. However, I am trying to think of this dilemma from both an aesthetic and environmental perspective. First of all, ripping out the existing kitchen would mean having to purchase all new materials, this means increasing consumption and dumping all the old items into a landfill. This is wasteful considering that everything that is currently in the kitchen is still perfectly serviceable, it all functions just fine it is just not to my current taste. Secondly, white cabinets and light countertops are simply the current fashion. Won't they look just as dated in 20 or 30 years? Aren't tastes dictated by trends and didn't my grandparents when installing the knotty pine kitchen originally do so because it was stylish? I am going to resist the urge to "granitize" my kitchen--a fabulously accurate term I picked up from my new favorite website www.retrorenovation.com

So, I'm going to try to live with it, for now. Try to learn to love it. And, who knows, by the time I like it it'll probably be back in style.

Grub Wars

I have grubs. Well, not me personally, but my yard does. Grubs are the larvae of Japanese Beetles. The grubs eat everything in sight and are especially fond of gardens. I am not going to post a picture of these creatures as they are the ugliest, slimiest, creepiest crawling things I have every seen. Although, the beetles they mature into are actually quite lovely.

All that aside, this is the way my mind works: As I was tilling the ground for my vegetable garden I spotted quite a few grubs, not knowing what they were I, naturally, called my mother. She explained what they were so I started Googling non-chemical ways to get rid of them (gotta keep it green and organic!) I came across several solutions for my problem including milky spore and other natural remedies. But far more interesting to me was the fact that grubs are a favorite food of chickens. I have been lusting after chickens for quite a while now, so I started researching coops, breeds, diet etc. However, I do live in a fairly rural area, which means that defense from predators is also a concern. So then I Googled ways to keep your chickens safe; special fencing, lighting and locks. But more interestingly there are certain breeds of dogs--called LGD (livestock guardian dogs)--who are specially bred to coexist with and defend, until the death, farm animals. The Great Pyrenees is specifically bred to guard poultry. They are massive, elegant white dogs with a quiet temperament and noble bearing. Some more Googling and I come to find that the nearest breeder to me is in West Virginia, about 180 miles away. Not too far at all.
So by the end of  2 hours of research I was ready to get into my car, drive to West Virginia and buy a dog to defend the chickens I do not have who will eat the grubs out of the garden that I have not yet planted. I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.

Growing Pains

So, now that I have been a gardener for approximately two months I feel I am ready to share some of my experiences and expertise.
First of all, do not have "garden envy". Sure your neighbors have a canopy of Wisteria and abundant aphid free Roses but you have something better, namely, a life. Those people with the perfect yards and abundant profusions of flowers, they are retired or at the very least, extremely unpopular.
Secondly, just because they sell something at the garden center or big box store doesn't mean it will grow in your yard. Those tempting arrays of plants are there to encourage conspicuous consumption, not to convey the practical realities of what will and will not grow in your yard. Hence the massive displays of annuals; annuals die off each year sending you running back to buy more each year.
Thirdly, do not buy plants based solely on love at first sight. Sure you think that Rhododendron is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen but there is no way it's going to grow in your heavy, rocky, grub infested soil. Let it go, move on, and when in doubt, buy Hostas.
And, finally, have realistic expectations. You are an attractive and intelligent person with a full life. There is no reason to drink an entire bottle of red wine or sullenly mope through your day just because all of your Begonia bulbs rotted. Some day--in 30-40 years--you too will retire and have a fabulous looking yard. Until then, keep your chin up and how about some lovely Impatiens?